The Muslims are coming! They are going to build a “community center” near Ground Zero. I case you forgot (and your car’s bumper promised you never would!), Ground Zero is the Hallowed Ground where Muslims killed a bunch of people. Ever since then, we hold the ground sacred and don’t allow anything but the most somber and respectful establishments to operate there, such as Christian Churches, bank headquarters (they’d never do anything to destroy America), one hundred thousand Muslim-run hot dog stands, and of course strip clubs.
The Imam who is behind this, Feisal Abdul Rauf, is a seriously suspicious character. Less than a year ago, his wife was on Fox News [sic] where Patriot Laura Ingraham (no, not Dr. Laura, the younger one) referred to him as a moderate Muslim and praised his efforts to open this community center. Today he is a Muslim extremist who wants to do something comparable to placing a Nazi sign next to the Holocaust museum. That’s some serious radicalization in just one (midterm election) year. Just imagine how radical he will be by October 2012!
Besides, it’s just insensitive! When members of a religion do something bad, it’s the entire religion’s fault. They should be more sensitive to the victims, kind of like how we don’t build Catholic Churches around elementary schools anymore*. To do otherwise would be caving to their evil demands, and you’d have to be a lilly-livered effete east-coast liberal to do that.
They should build it somewhere else - if for no other reason than to avoid violating our Constitution’s guarantee of Free Exercise of Religion Unless It Bothers Anyone In Any Way Or Involves Brown People. Just relocate! But not Staten Island (still too close)… or Kentucky (they’re always about eight years behind, so it’s still too soon)… or Georgia (too religious already)… or California (too gay). But somewhere else. Less hallowed ground. I’m not saying Alaska but we’re all thinking it.
There, that’s settled. Now if we can just get rid of those Mexicans. And Iranians. And Koreans. BE AFRAID
*shamelessly stolen from The Daily Show last night.